The Gift Horse

The day broke in the Athens of the North with moisture in the air that clouded the vision, and damp that clawed at the frostbitten toes. When Priam threw open the shutters to take in the dawn of victory, it is wondered how long he mistook the smoke of his burning city for a morning haze, how long before the merciless sun broke through to throw the plight of his people into full view.

The sun broke through on the Edinburgh Academy pitches at noon, with pistol drawing scheduled for three; by two we had visual confirmation that, under the banner of the Inverleith 2s, once again we faced children, (aka Lactic acid free beings, or LAFB for short, aka/Stop). Our expectations of meeting last season’s all time best cup success were not high, indeed we saw our role more like a ribbon wrapped gift for the other team.

Following the 1777 conventions (we keep the mud from our shoes and our cussing to a minimum), we set up with the chosen weapons (sticks, obviously) walked the twenty paces turned and waited for the white handkerchief to fall and the ball of discontent to come into action. Whilst meanwhile back in 1184 BC the Trojans are eyeing the horse – “sounds hollow -must be a piñata, I heard they’re pretty common in Ancient Greece, has to be that” Sure Jan, sure.

And almost immediately the team of purple shirted LAFBs forms a shimmering cloud that shifts the ball across the field one way, then shifts the ball across the field the other. Perpetually moving, the players weave and dart leaving a clutch of mesmerised defence at its mercy, squinting to see which one of its heads is going to strike. Head’s up (ha) they all did, the klaxons sounded and the defence and emergency call backs are desperately trying to get the ball, well, anywhere, anywhere apart from the D. Right, left, centre, but everywhere the ball went, at least 6 purple shirted people were there first. Then, out of the barrage of back sticks and stick tackles the ball made a bid for freedom, through the blockade and in what seemed like a brief moment of passing – goal.

A moment of surprise from everyone

The reprisal was swift, with some sliding tackles just for fun – a foot at the top of the D signalled the beginning of the short corner season, providing a chance for everyone to showcase their football talents. At roughly short corner attempt 14 the equaliser met the dashboard. We set up again, and their heavy press continued, and continued.

At half time, in the absence of school girls the wine gums were cracked open.

With the second half we began as we meant to go on, on the defensive; attempting to quell the first swell of the shoal, then the next, and the next one. This half very much followed a similar pattern to the first half. They had the ball, they still had the ball – we scored. They scored in retaliation, then they had the ball, they still had the ball, they continued to have the ball, they still continued to have the ball – we scored.

In reflection we may not have had a strategy, but the plan of scoring goals seemed to have been enough – perhaps we should thanks Poseidon after all?

Statistics:
Possession: Inverleith 92%
Watsonians 8%
Goals scored: Inverleith 2
Watsonians 4
Goal scorers: Jo (2)
Haley (1)
Louise (1)
Celebratory Dabs spotted: 1
Sliding tackles: 1
Educational moments (when is backing not backing?): 1
Short corner percentage: 33.3333% (!!)