JUICE!

[Please read/sing to the tune of Juice by Lizzo]

Dressing room before the match:
Mel’s dancing in her plaits, she’s cute (ooh, baby),
Sask and Lam regretting -
Last night’s shots that they made us shoot (ooh, baby),
Hannah C and Cat have -
Both gone missing in the car enroute (ooh, baby),
Warm-up’s short; leggings AND skorts,
It’s cool baby; what we do.
That’s how we roll.

No sun shinin’, weather’s looking worse than shite (score some goals),
But we’re ready, give our all – we’re gonna try (now you know),
Second half is good; play better over time (so you know),
Heard you say 4s ain’t the baddest team – you lied!

It ain’t our fault that we’re playing in this sluice,
But we’re never gonna lose,
With our goal-machine, The Juice, baby!
It ain’t our fault that the opp don’t look like 2s(!)
But we’re out here makin’ news,
With our goal-machine, The Juice!
Ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee,
Goal machine, The Juice, goal-ma-goal-machine, The Juice,
Ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee,
Goal machine, The Juice, goal-ma-goal-machine, The Juice! (ooh baby)

Match begins; we’re flying -
Rozy’s intercepting like a kween (ooh, baby),
“Back up’s, back up’s” Daisy’s -
Playing great, baby – yeah, she’s keen (ooh, baby),
Jena, Hannah, Shiv and Lizze -
Mopping it all in-between (ooh, baby),
Still, the oppo sneak a goal.
Now, hold up, Umpire – please!
(It’s how we roll…)

1-nil down and still the weather’s looking shite (score some goals),
Sassy B’s last game; she’s gunning for a fight (now you know),
But we’re playing better; there’s a goal in sight… (so you know),
Long from Lam to Jenny, then to Liv – ALL RIGHT!

It ain’t our fault that we never want to lose,
So, a leveller produce,
From our goal machine, The Juice, baby,
It ain’t our fault that our keeper’s full of booze,
But we’re out here making news,
With our goal-machine, The Juice!
Ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee,
Goal machine, The Juice, goal-ma-goal-machine, The Juice,
One goal each! One goal each! (Thanks to)
Goal machine, The Juice, goal-ma-goal-machine, The Juice!

I think we need V.A.R!
Umpire, that ball just crossed the line. What? Crossed the line! What?!
We’re not speaking to you in the car –
Umpire, that ball just crossed the line. What? Crossed the line!
What you want us to say?

It ain’t our fault that we’re playing in this sluice,
Isobel’s so cold, she’s puce,
Lizze’s battered, cut and bruised, baby.
We get the ball, and Catriona’s cutting loose,
Even Jodie’s passing through!
We ain’t NEVER gonna lose!
Ladies 4s, Ladies 4s! (Got a)
Goal machine, The Juice, goal-ma-goal-machine, The Juice,
Bleed maroon, bleed maroon! (With our)
Goal machine, The Juice, goal-ma-goal-machine, The Juice! (Yeah!)

Player of the Match: Catriona Malloch
Thank you to Stephen Colliston for umpiring